


Drown

by weirdo_weirdo



Series: tears and trust on tatooine [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin has a sister, Drabble, Gen, I am still not sorry, Major Original Character(s), One Shot, POV Original Character, POV Original Female Character, Slavery, Songfic, Tatooine, Young Anakin, does this bug anyone else, it doesn't really make sense, why is this not mentioned in any point but episode 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdo_weirdo/pseuds/weirdo_weirdo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ellanora skywalker deals with loss</p>
<p>[songfic to melanie martinez's cry baby]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for slavery, child labor, abandonment (sort of?), and bullying

_You’ve seemed to replace your brain with your heart_

_You take things so hard and then you fall apart_

It was weird at first. I would get up near dawn, as per usual. I would head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, as I was the best at it. I would make something simple, yet delicious.

I would pull three plates out of the cabinet as mother came into the room. I would await the sound of Anakin’s feet racing into the room, drawn in by the scent of food.

Mother would just give me sad look and place one the plates back into the pantry, and suddenly everything came back, crashing down on me in a tidal wave, embracing me with buckets of truth and pain and sorrow.

I would blink back tears, fake a smile, and pretend I wasn’t bothered.

_You try to explain but before you can start_

_Those cry baby tears come out of dark_

“I-I can explain!” I stared up at the man who seemed infinitely taller than me.

“What’s there to explain, missy! You were caught stealing!” The beast grumbled his words, but I was still able to make out my native tongue, even with his heavy accent.

It was then that I burst into tears.

“What is the meaning of this!” The man slapped me across the face, grunting.

“Hey! You have to pay for that. Damage to personal property!” Watto’s gruff voice came out from behind her. She sagged in relief. “Now she’s going to put whatever she stole back, and we can forget about the fact that you’d be paying more than that thing is worth.”

The shop owner grumbled out his insults, eventually walking back into his shop. I allowed myself a sigh of relief. Watto turned to me, a glare fixed on his face. I gulped audibly, following my master back to his shop.

_Someone’s turning the handle_

_To that faucet in your eyes_

I wouldn’t ever admit it, but I was an emotional wreck as soon as Anakin left. Everything seemed to be different. Watto had lost all his money, his best slave, and the will to live of another. Mom seemed to be holding herself together, but I doubt she could have taken it well. Was she hurting as much as I was? Was she okay with everything that happened? Or was she just better at hiding it than me? I knew it was for the greater good, and mother knew too.

So why did everything feel wrong? Why is it that just the mention of my brother could bring me to my knees in an emotional tirade, weeping like some kind of mess? Why couldn’t I just be happy for him?

_They’re pouring out_

_Where everyone can see_

Sometimes I would randomly start crying. I would be sitting at the table at home, or working in Watto’s shop, or just wandering town when suddenly my eyes would tear, or I would break into these gross, ugly sobs. I never really knew what started it. Sometimes I felt so alone, sometimes I just missed the way things were. Everyone could see, tears racing down my cheeks, my eyes surrounded by rims of puffy red.

Some people would ask if I was okay.

Some people would turn the other cheek, pretending not to notice a pathetic slave girl was crying her heart out.

Some people would look at me in disgust, revolted by my presence and the reminder that slaves had feelings and emotions.

_Your heart’s too big for your body_

_It’s where your feelings hide_

_They’re pouring out_

_Where everyone can see_

I gulped down a fresh set of tears welling in my eyes. I had eyed the protocol droid that Anakin had been building. Threepeo was incomplete, like everything else Anakin had left here on this rock. Just like me.

_They call you cry baby, cry baby_

_But you don’t fucking care_

The girls in Mos Espa would sometimes laugh at me, and I would try to ignore them. After all, they were probably stuck here, just like me. Many of them were probably slaves or related to scumbags, which didn’t really make them any better, in my book. It didn’t matter what they thought of me.

I didn’t care. I don’t care.

_Cry baby, cry baby_

_So you laugh through your tears_

A bitter laugh ran through my being, in spite of the situation. I was on my way home from Watto’s shop, when I saw some boys, probably not much older than me, whispering to each other.

“That’s the wuss.” I could hear one whisper to another.

A disgusted look overtook my face before I schooled my features back into the neutral. They could think what they wanted, it didn’t matter to me.

But of course, it did matter, didn’t it? My laugh was cynical and sarcastic, no humor to back it.

Why was life so unfair? Why was mother a slave? Why did she get pregnant? Why did Anakin get to become a Jedi? Why was I left here to rot? Why was I wasting my time complaining about why everything was wrong?

Oh right. Because my thoughts are the only thing that I seem to have control over, at this point.

_Cry baby, cry baby_

_‘Cause you don’t fucking care_

I tried to hold in my tears. I stopped my sniffles. Oh how odd my tears looked, wet and salty, among the vastness of the dry and desolate desert.

_Tears fall to the ground_

_You just let them drown_


End file.
